Have you been ignored by a girl, when texting her sometimes?
Did you get all kinds of extremely ridiculous excuses from girl you never see but initially seemed ok? Maybe you just messed up somewhere on the way.
Texting is not, what is used to be, the tool to communicate vital information, which it once was. Now it has become much more. Girls are testing guys on the phone, without need to see them. Than if the guy passes this ‘test’, they will eventually going to see him.
Yeah it is right, nowadays girls try to read how funny we guys are, how our characters are or what kind of relationship do we look for or how horny or impatient we are! Just from a simple text!
Is it really about our character? Hell no! But they will think it is and we can’t do anything about it to prove them wrong unless we become texting masters, which is basically only one possibility for us to achieve with better % of the girls in today’s world.
What has the world become?
Thanks to the progress in technology, spreading of Internet and low prices for text messages or data, people became much more used to avoiding face to face communication and had to develop certain necessary skills, Think of a cell phone like of a extended arm which connects you with the other person elsewhere, when your messaging skills suck, it is the same as giving ‘dead fish’ handshake, you quickly become weird, boring or even dangerous in their eyes.
It is extremely important to learn projecting your personality, when texting to a girl, you can’t really be yourself, like would normally behave in face to face communication, but you should be somehow funnier or try squeeze it down there, as you have very limited room to operate. Realize you don’t have support in eye contact, body language or tonality.
You surely heard advices like: ‘When talking to a girl, it is not important, what you say, but how you say it, while a little bit exaggerated, there is still some truth about it. Guess what, when texting girl, there are not many other ways, how to trigger her emotions than using emoticons and exclamation marks, pretty weak eh? No, but definitely something to master.
It is a deliberate process and skill to write perfect SMS.
Table of Contents
What is the message about?
All the times when texting to a girl, you are showing how socially aware you are. You have to keep yourself within borders of ‘OK’ habits perceived by society and when overcoming them, you can be marked as ‘extreme’, ‘dirty’ or even ‘deviant’. But you also have to somehow stand out especially when you are texting to a 9 or 10 like beautiful girl.
So basically you can’t be too much in the safe zone, as it would be perceived as boring but not outside of it either. Difficult job guys have. Advisable would be staying somewhere around the border, you are witty, funny and teasing, but not going over the top. While this is similar in the ‘real world’, it is not the same. You can pay a big price for just a little mistake of not getting response from the girl ever again, something that would hardly happen in real life and as we mentioned about, is all about text!
So how to do it right?
First, you should just ask yourself some questions before eventually texting her:
What do you know about her? – The fact information
– Remember and write them down, it is very important! You can make good use of the information later in the texts.
What she was like, when you met her first?
– Can you guess, what was her behavior like? Do you think she was very talkative or more like a soft and quiet girl? This is important, when exchanging the first messages, when you don’t know yet, what her style of communication is.
Is the girl single?
– You should know this or at least have a clue and find out later in the conversation, as you would easily understand when she turns you off and also you don’t want to waste them with her, if engaged women are not, what you are looking for.
What she does during the day, when she works/studies?
– This will help you assess her availability for texting
When to send text to a girl after your first meeting?
Again, it is all about finding balance, you don’t want her to:
Think you are overeager – showing desperateness is a now way to go 🙁
Forget about yourself emotionally – She won’t forget you, but she will quickly forget the positive feelings, she had when meeting you, so you should not let them fade.
As you probably don’t know her schedule that well, you can stick with general rules:
If you meet her at the bar late at night
– Ideally write her afternoon / evening after that night.Good night text, when you are still drunk is a risk, it might be good at the moment but the girl might have ‘He tried too hard’ feeling the next day.
If you meet her afternoon
– tomorrow evening is a good time for writing her
If you meet her in the morning
– The same evening or next afternoon/evening should do too.
After exchanging few texts with her, you should notice the sending pattern, especially the intervals she’s replying to your texts. If she doesn’t respond to you that quickly, you shouldn’t reply to her quickly either. There is a rule out there, which says it should take you 1,5 time it took her to respond.
If the conversations rolls, that’s great, it should be ideally almost something like ping pong, with very short messages coming in a few second-minutes intervals back and forth. Ideal number of such short SMS is around 10 per person at maximum, it might be perceived as ‘trying too hard’ again then.
Generally if you are not in a relationship with a girl and you want her, you should try writing to her at bedtime, don’t text her in the morning/noon, when she doesn’t expect the SMS, there is a quite high probability that you would get ignored. Weekends are exception as people are often out with friends at evening/night, better is write her during the day on weekends.
You should definitely learn the schedule of your girl, maybe she will have it reversed, as she works night shifts, who knows.
How should the first text be like?
It should not be boring. You can add greeting, mention her name, that will show her, that you remember information, which is a good thing and then, and then you can add a little bit of fun and refer to some situation you two talked about/experienced together, then write your name.
That’s good because often girls don’t save our numbers correctly in their phones or simply don’t remember our names. Basically first text isn’t that much important after all. Important is the follow-up.
How long the SMS should be?
Either write short texts (with lot of meaning though) or try to match her length of the texts, it seemingly works quite well. Don’t write long texts! It is perceived as overinvestment and person writing them as not socially aware enough.
Even if you have a friend and he sends you such wall of text, it will feel strange to you, guaranteed! On the other hand if her texts get longer, you can tell she starts to feel something for you, you can then reply with longer texts as well.
Should you entertain the girl with your texts?
Yeah, in this case, you should at least be a little bit funny (if you can, if you can’t, than learn it), it is great if you are spontaneous and can combine speed with humor. Such jokes are irresistible for girls.
Emoticons, yes or no?
Using emoticons every time at every sentence does not have a sense really, as it shows they hold no value. Not using them at all might imply you being somewhat serious or even boring. The answer is again ‘balance’. Emoticons are here to serve you and trigger her emotions, if used well and rarely, it’s a clear advantage.
What you should do during texting?
Outside being funny and entertaining, you should definitely try:
Creating personal bonds with her, try to find similarities and build a rapport
Providing of context and name when contacting her
Establish the expectation, if the conversation nears the end. Use sentences like: ‘talk to you later’, ‘talk to you tomorrow’
Know when to quit – If the conversation becomes lackluster or boring, try to quit it as if you have something important to do and finish with establishing of expectation.
Some other elements
While you can read in similar articles, that is a good idea to get dirty sometimes, well if you know the girl personally already and you managed to get closer to her, then it’s very effective, otherwise, if you used it incorrectly, she can be disturbed by it, so you should be cautious, when using it.
Flirting again, on correct occasions, is recommended as you surely don’t want to end up in the friend zone or do you? You can tease her and even act goofy sometimes, that way she’s going to see, that you are not that serious guy, who can make fun of himself, don’t overdo ANY of it though.
All the time, when texting to a girl, it is important to have a goal in your head, what do you want to achieve by texting her? Do you want to have just fun talking or get her out? Be honest to yourself about this and act accordingly.
Sometime you can read, that very effective are bold and straight texts, we think those are good only, when you make only very good first impression with the emphasis on ‘very’ and honestly, most of the guys don’t do such impressions so better build a rapport and focus on creating at least some bonds between you two before meeting each other.
Examples of a conversation
Conversation of a guy, who has not gained texting skills
1. He: Hi, How are you doing?
2. She: Fine thx, who’s that?
3. He: Jake from the bar, we met at Friday night, I had a black suit and a white hat, you remember me! 😉
4. She: Ok, dunno, don’t remember u, so what?
5. He: But I remember you! ;D We were sitting next to each other for like 40 minutes and chatting about everything possible:)), and I think we had so much to talk about, I was looking, when you were dancing;) I think you were beautiful :*
6. She: (no response)
………………………………………………
1. Boring, she doesn’t even know who is texting, it’s difficult for her to even answer that
2. Just out of curiosity answering him
3. It’s bad, he tries too hard, instead of point to shared experience he focuses on his looks
4. She thinks she knows (but is not sure), who he is, but he seems embarrassing, she rather tells him, that she doesn’t.
5. Jake continues to be embarrassing – His text is too long, full of necessary emoticons and even emotions, Jake again tries very hard to impress her, seems like he hasn’t been talking with a girl for ages. At the end he compliments even though, she doesn’t even acknowledged the guy yet.
6. Jake made too much mistakes, and although she liked him that night at the bar, now she doesn’t
The same girl, same guy but has some texting skills, what is different?
1. He: Hey Maria, is your elbow OK now? 🙂 – Jake
2. She: Oh hello Jake! It’s def. better 🙂 How’s it going?
3. He: Oh well not great just blown a tire, waiting for helicopter to rescue me 🙂 You?
4. She: Haha, I would so love to fly with a helicopter:) Great thanks 🙂 That accident sound bad, how did you blow your tire?
5. He: I will tell them to pick you up 😉 Just an ordinary road in L.A with nails and glass all over the place, ever been in L.A?
………………………………………………..
1. He refers to the incident in bar, when she hurt her arm and he helped her, shows he can remember a name and writes his name for the case girl forgets it.
2. She knows immediately as she remembered the accident and him as he helped her, she now sees him positively and asks how he is.
3. Jake describes what happened to him and adds a joke, then adds a question at the end so she can follow
4. She gives him topics to talk about and even asks, she definitely is engaged in the conversation now
5. Jake is funny again and follows with a question, throughout the whole conversation Jake focuses on keeping his texts about the same size as hers. Jake comes to a more personal level and she will be surely happy to answer.
Jake is the whole different animal in the second part! The whole conversation just seems much more live, if Jake uses humor and plays by the rules. It’s a better experience for both of them.
Conclusion
You now see that sending quality texts to a girl is no easy task, but it surely can be mastered. Knowing how to text to a girl is very important weapon in the arsenal of every man, who is good with women.
