Men meet so many attractive girls every day, it is not possible that you have to wait for the love of your life and let the things happen somehow randomly, without actually taking it in your hands. Good news – it isn’t, you have many options. In this article, you are going to learn great ways to flirt with a girl.
You surely heard about flirting and maybe you don’t simply believe in it and think it appears only in the Hollywood movies, but the truth is, it is pretty real. If you are paying enough attention you will notice flirting happens all around you! A guy looking at girl’s cleavage or eyes in the better case in the bus, is actually flirting with her. But most of the flirts, I would have no problem saying 90+%, have no follow up whatsoever.
Flirting with a woman is a delicate process. You have to follow certain steps correctly if you don’t want to mess up on the way, and who would want to?
There are 3 strategic outcomes, you can plan for your flirt, you can plan to:
Table of Contents
Flirting strategy 1: “Just have a good time and separate then”
This is one may appear, if you have either other obligations, are not in the mood to actually get a girl to be friends, have sex or have romantic relationship with or simply follow other objective like when you actually want other girl and want her to get jealous. You may also want to kill time while waiting etc. Such strategy is great, if you want to:
Gain some confidence
Practice flirting and talking to women
Elevate your mood in that moment
The guy practicing this strategy doesn’t need to use any advanced techniques for creating attraction between you two, on the other because it is so natural and unaffected done with relaxed body and mind, those conversations often go really great and leave girls wanting for more. Because of the “no transition” preparation though, it might also happen, that the guy wants more, if the conversation is really engaging and the girl superb. Then he might have problem moving further, because he set his mind to “just have a little fun talk with a girl”. We recommend using this frame of mind, only if you really have strong reasons not to go further with the girl, otherwise it could be a huge shame to let some great girl, go away, just like that.
Flirting strategy 2: “Have a crash on the girl and want her right on”
There is nothing wrong with this strategy alone, problem is it is extremely difficult to do correctly, because it puts so much pressure on the guy using it, he has no back doors there, he can’t say that he doesn’t care about the outcome and be completely honest about it. And this type of failure can actually hurt his ego and self-esteem. To loosen up a bit a guy can:
Convince himself that he will improve his skills, by trying to flirt with desired woman
At least know that she has no interest and can focus on other girls
Convince himself that his failure don’t matter in the big picture at all
After that DON’T think about failure at all and go for it!
If the girl isn’t attracted to the guy at all or doesn’t even know him, he has to create attraction and that would probably require developed acting skills – he would most likely have to pretend, that he’s not that interested and that he’s simply enjoying time, as in the strategy 1, more about how to create attraction later. Guy has to be prepared to move things further, if required and therefore could put more additional pressure on him. The problem is the guys often don’t even reach this phase of moving things forward, as they mess up on the way and fail to create any attraction at all, then naturally it has no sense to escalate things and both know it.
Flirting strategy 3: “Have a good time and in case it’s engaging enough, escalate it further”
This strategy is really great because it combines the best of the both worlds together – the guy doesn’t care if it has a follow up or not, he’s just enjoying the time and is ready (has no obligations or other reasons explained in strategy 1) to take things further, if required. Just by this mind frame alone, he isn’t hurried, takes his time, doesn’t do stupid mistakes and is relaxed in both body and mind. In this example a guy can’t get possibly mess up, because he hasn’t any defined goals to stick to, basically the worse thing, that can happen is, that the guy will be sworn at, but that tells more about the girl (he doesn’t even care about) then the guy anyways, so his self-esteem won’t suffer at all. We think this is the best strategy and has the highest possibility of success of the three.
Splitting the flirting process
In this part we are going to explain the step by step process of flirting with a girl. There are many ways to do this right, the whole process consist of many little decisions, which you have to make, but there are many ways, which can actually lead to success.
Start
In the beginning you can either approach a girl you already know or a one you don’t, let’s focus on the later.
The most effective way to let her know about yourself is look into her eyes – therefore contacting her, it is important firstly to appear just like you randomly looked somewhere and non-judgementally see her eyes as an object. It is great for both of you – for you, that your head will be blank, without actually thinking anything and having the need to break the connection and her because she will gather information from the glance, she might also start to wonder who this guy is and why he looked at her as if she would be just a normal human or even object (not giving her signs of either attraction or lack of interest).
Usually what happens at the moment is, that you by this look create a empty space for the girl – she will start thinking massively (while you have blank head, remember watching and don’t judging anything), will be confused and will break the eye connection. That alone was a perfect look at a girl. Because you were able to evoke so many thoughts in her head, she will wonder who are you, and you can be almost sure, she will try to contact you with her eyes later. By this magnetic look you achieved way more that you would ever do using some one-liners. You tossed the ball, now it’s her turn.
What usually follows is a girl contacting you with her eyes. What happens – the girl wants to be noticed by you, wants to appear other than “just an object” in your eyes. So at this point she fights for your attention, that’s what you achieved, by simply looking at her and that is the best position you can be in.
Do you want to take this further? Now it’s time to ‘catch’ her glance, recognize her and even mirror her gestures like if she smiles at you, you can smile back at her. At one point, you can take over the lead again, imply a toast in case you have any glass (really depends on the context) and eventually you can stand up and start talking to her. You do want to appear as a leader at one point, otherwise she could start to think, that you are either a chicken or are not interested in her anymore. Some girls will try to fight even further though and even be more active most of the time, and right there is a little space for you to asses her personality – from the described behavior you can guess such girls are probably going to be ambitious and dominant later on.
Conclusion
It is clear now, that to successfully flirt doesn’t mean to appear as a macho-man directly going after what he wants, but it is more of a delicate play between, where you switch lead and create interest. You learned the opening phase, that’s the first out of 3 parts from the great ways to flirt with a girl article series.
You are now confidently able to:
Put yourself into a correct mindframe for you
Contact girl with a magnetic look
Reverse roles
Play in the situation and takeover the lead (or not)
Asses girl’s character just from observing her behavior
In the 2nd part of the series, we are going through the whole conversation process. The 3rd part aims at physical flirting and proper closing. At the end of the series the whole process of how to flirt with girls, will be covered.
